Speaking from Prague on Saturday 13th October 2001

 On our last meeting we were in Wroclaw where we met, by chance, dear Don and chewed the fat over the recent crisis. We all seemed to be of the opinion that at the moment we would rather do the ignorant thing and stick our heads in the sand until we are likely to be hitting a country within gun shot.

Pat had an early rise to move the bike from it's temporary safe keeping in the hold of the hostel kindly organised by the warden as the bike was about to rather encumber the workman doing up the hostel.

That day was a bit on the cultural side; botanical gardens, cathedral, followed by searching the hillside for prehistoric animals. I should explain - the hillside in question stands alone in a plain of bland countryside and it is no surprise that Pagan worshippers believed it to be a holy place. Scattered over the slopes are granite boulders which they saw fit to carve into different animals. You can imagine a chap or chap-ess sitting on the hillside contemplating his/her fate carving away for weeks on end to appease the Gods in 3B.C.. But my theory is it was just someone who fancied a bit of a menagerie in his garden. I have visions of prehistoric man flocking to see the wonders created, with other hawkers on the tracks below, selling little wooded copies to take home and put on the mantelpiece (like just about every site we've seen).

No seriously we left the place feeling that the method of worship not only made sense but blended far more with countryside, than the cathedral we had visited in the morning, where the building was a great show of power and wealth whilst the people kneeling in worship were in need, but still put money they could ill-afford in the donation tray as they left.

On returning to the hostel, our nice warden had apparently been replaced by a demon who seemed stunned by the suggestion that we could wheel our motorbike into her hostel. She was dumbfounded that her predecessor had been as fool hardy as to allow us to the previous night. We left the altercation hoping that our saviour last night was not about to be in big trouble due to her kindliness to us. So instead for the night, the bike was parked up in front of a secluded sex shop.

Off to the border, to a wee town in the mountain range bordering Czech Republic, Szlarska Poreba. Far less touristy than Zakopane, it seemed well set up with hiking trails and chair lifts for winter skiing. There was a long weave around town trying in vain to find the hostel which, we had been informed, were 'up the hill'. Defeated we rolled the bike into the drive of a Penzion. Initial enquiries by the use of a next door neighbour at her bedroom window, with me in the driveway and the pensioner (pensionee?) also at the window of her house, led me to understand that there were indeed zimmer frei. All this because there had to be multiple translation. After being shown the room, I asked the price and got the response '56 zwoty per person'. Somewhat aghast I went and consulted with Hippy and by the shaking of our heads, it was clear that we were not up for it. As we climbed back on the bike to set off, a renewed offer of 20 zwoty appeared. That's more like it!

Another bargaining tool that we have used in the past and will use in the future is for me and Hippy to have a 'ruck' in view of vendors and start to walk off - it works every time. To be fair, the room was fantastic and we had a lot more space than we have been used to.

Our early start that day meant that we could climb the local mountain. The landscape around this area (Sudetenland - ring any bells?) is quite different to the Tatras. Although the mountains have steep sides and rocky outcrops at the top, there are ridges that make walking very easy once height has been gained. The routes to the tops of these mountains in Poland are amazingly well prepared. Cobbled pathways cannot be mistaken and they tend to be well waymarked. This particular climb was like my images of Tolkein's Black Mountains.

We had to stop many times on the way up, but having failed to reach the top of the sculpture mountain on the previous day (simply because of a lack of time, you understand), this time we were determined. Reach the top we did and the views were fantastic although Poland to the north was shrouded in a veil of haze, but it was easy to imagine what it would be like to stay at one of the mountaintop youth hostels in winter and see for miles. At the top here you can do the old one foot in Poland, one in Czech routine.

So elated were we that we treated ourselves to a slap-up dinner of pizza down in the village on our return. And speaking of returns, the pizza nearly did! Not that it was unpleasant, merely that our poor little constitutions were not used to such rich food as we have been surviving on fairly basic fare for a good while. The upshot was that we both went down with stomach cramps and, eventually, things loosened up down below. We had a sleepless night and this was a terrible shame as, all in all, Poland had been very good for us. An introduction to communication problems, paperwork hassles, bargaining and roads and driving that needed careful observation. This sounds rather negative, but we had really enjoyed finding out these things.

And so to Czech.